It’s been awhile

So, I started this site, planning on updating it pretty regularly with updates on who I am, what I’ve been doing, and how I’m developing as a person to become a better version of myself. Well, as you can see, I haven’t posted anything until now since I started the site. So lets see if we can’t update things.

I’ve developed (with a lot of help from my friend in Canadia) a C# comprehensive training application that can essentially become an add-on to any application you have running/declare it to run on. It works great, but the main application I need it to run on reuses a lot of classes in their UI for a huge variant of things. Basically, causing my application to add extra icons to search in random places of the application that I can’t seem to filter out. I’m not really sure how to resolve the issues so I can finally deploy it, so it’s kind of rotting atm.

I’ve also started a big project using Ruby on Rails, I’m developing a web based application that I essentially want to be a yelp! on steroids. I don’t want to go into too many details here, essentially because I want it to be what it to blossom into my organisation with a close friend of mine and we can become fully self sufficient. I’m learning a lot with this project, mostly you know, EVERYTHING there is about Ruby on Rails and web development in general. Development of a database for a web platform seems quite different from what I’m used to with my typically .NET & MSSQL db I work with on a daily bases – though I may just be over thinking things since I’m starting from the ground up.

Outside of these two projects, I haven’t really done much, I haven’t been taking very good care of myself. I’ve gained quite a bit of weight, which I’ve made a conscious decision this week to lose it. So far I’ve lost 8lbs, I’m pretty happy with that, typically I’d say it’s a lot too fast, but none of the weight I’ve gained so far has really… “settled in”, and is pretty easy to shed I think initially. I’ll run into a wall soon, and will need to start changing more and more bad habits but I’m easing into it and seeing progress with every step.

What else? hrmmm, well there’s the whole girl of my dreams thing. I’m not sure if she knows or not, she’s probably blind if she doesn’t cause everyone else in the world seems to know. I’m not really sure why I can’t bring myself to just be with her, we’re friends now… it shouldn’t be difficult to just, be honest with her about how I feel. But it is. I tear myself down far too much, it’s hard for me to let myself have what I really want. Especially when it’s such an amazing woman like her, every part of me just wants to see her happy… and sometimes, I just don’t feel like I’d be able to make or keep her happy…

anywho, until next time~ thanks for listening to me rant. PEACE!



So It Begins…

In one month I’ll be 25 year’s old.
I had planned to be a lot further in life by age 24, and nearly none of those plans have been completed. Instead I’ve been wasting my time pursuing a career I don’t even enjoy, for an organization I find impossible to relate to. I had planned to have my own game studio going strong by now, instead – I’m finally coming to the realization that I HAVE to get out of the HealthCare IT industry and pursue what I wanted to do with my life since I was a child. Game Development. It’s going to be a long process, but I’ve managed to build up some important contacts that I believe can help me achieve my goals. Primarily, Smith – a Canadian (lol) Software Engineer is helping me get back into the development game. I’m very far behind, and I’m pretty much learning everything from the ground up. Everything I was familiar with before I became a Database Administrator (only really working in MSSQL) is either obsolete or completely forgotten. That being said, I’m taking my time, and beginning with a C# IRC Chat Bot. I’ve dubbed him JarvisBot. I’ll be building up commands and such to moderate my own channel ( as well as integrating it with the Venture Forth Gaming Community (VN4) app that Smith’s been developing.

Smith’s asked me to help him build up VN4, helping manage streaming schedule, leading teams, organizing events, amongst other things. When I agreed to it, I’m not sure I really knew what I was agreeing to, and I’m still not really sure I really know. But I’ve met quite a few great and interesting people (mostly Canadian so far), and I’m quite happy I’ve agreed to help get things rolling. We have a lot of work before we can really call ourselves a real Gaming Community, but this desktop application Smith’s working will be the base of our community. I just hope I prove myself useful as time goes on, because I feel pretty useless at the moment. Stumbling my way through what I feel are the stupidest, easiest things – that are harder than I think they should be for me. I’m overwhelmed by how much of my life I’ve already wasted, but I’m aiming to make up for it.

I want to be completely out of the HealthCare Industry within 2 years. If possible maybe even working full-time on game development at or around 2-3 years from now. That’s going to be really tough, with how much I need to learn, and how little time is really available to concentrate on the projects I need to complete in order to make sure I DO learn the things I need. I take some solace in the fact Smith will be learning Unity from the ground up as well, though he’ll probably grasp it quicker and easier than me – I hope him learning it at the same time will help smooth over the roadblocks and disconnects I’ll be running into a little bit. It’s going to be an interesting adventure, but it’s time – time to Venture Forth, take control of my life finally instead of satisfying everyone else’s plans for me. It’s going to be rough, mostly because I feel like dead weight on Smith, I’m thankful he’s been patient with me, and hope I can become an asset that can give back at some point rather than constantly taking from him.

Until then, to quote what was once my favorite podcasts LondonReal – “It’s about the Journey!” and I plan to make it one hell of a journey. Hopefully I’ll keep up to date with this blog, because honestly I need a place to vent lately – and clear my thoughts. My mind’s been cluttered and wondering a lot lately, and this is a great way to help re-organize it, and make sense of things going through my head. Even if reading it back won’t make sense HA!